The Library Awards

I can't say I watched the Oscars last night. I never do; I have other things to do and it's not every much of a priority for me when I can just look up who won the next day.

Can I just say how excited I am that Into the Spiderverse won Best Animated Feature? Yes, folks, I have been saying it's good, and now it's objectively proven to be good. Stop calling me a Marvel fangirl and just go see it!

I know a lot of people get into the Oscars, but I don't. I love movies and storytelling as much as the next person, but a lot of the hype seems self-congratulatory and fake to me. The film industry is telling us and selling us on how awesome the film industry is. I wonder what would happen if they took away the hype, or tried to hype other awards. Like the Nobel Prizes.

Or awards for books.

Yes, we have awards for books. But they don't seem to have nearly the hype or party around them as movies.

That thought led to a train that has brought me to present to you my idea for a televised award show for books that come out through a year. I call it the Library Awards, instead of the Academy Awards.

There could be categories for Best Picture Book, Best YA, Best Adult's, Best Nonfiction, like the overall categories, but I think the other categories could get a little more creative. After all, in books, we don't have musical score and costuming, so may I suggest for approval the following categories:

- Best Twist Ending
- Best Adaptation of Film/Comic Book
- Best Graphic Novel
- Most Poetic Language
- Most Complex Hero/Villain
- Best Narrator in a Supporting Role (Lemony Snicket is a past winner of this category)
- Best Book to Movie Adaptation
- Best Use of Setting in a Supporting Role
- Most Helpful Map in a Fantasy Novel
- Best Short Fiction in a Collection
- Best Use of Foreshadowing
- Most Avant-garde Novel
- Best Romantic "Ship" in a Novel

Feel free to add or subtract as you please. This is simply speculation.

The awards show itself would be spectacular. We could have writers, agents, publishers, and fans alike arrive in elegant suits and gowns modeled after character designs, or paying homage to books themselves.

The goodie bags could have books, gift cards for bookstores, or some of those lovely book-scented candles or perfumes in them.

Awards would be presented by fans or by authors, publishers, etc. Maybe some characters could make a guest appearance.

And, of course, since every light side has its dark side, there'd be the "Razzies" of books, as well, the worst in each category.

I see no problem with this. And since books and short stories are inspiring so many movies lately, well, why shouldn't we pay homage to the roots?Disclaimer: for all I know, book award ceremonies are actually like this, just not as widely televised. If this is the case, that sounds rad.

Last but certainly no least, in the spirit of the season and this post, congrats to everyone who has won awards recently in every book category! You deserve all the little gold statues and book-scented candles!