Like, in this case, during my Monday night Mario Kart games.
Every Monday night I get with a big group and we play Mario Kart. I've gone from pretty terrible to halfway decent, over the course of several years. It's a fun, social time, and all skill levels are welcome, although there are some people who are ridiculously good. We get players and watchers, and like I said, it's a good time.
Anyway, last night I was watching (I do play sometimes, but lately I've been tired and it's been a busier night than normal) and I realized that I really, really want to film Mario Kart Monday and present it for your enjoyment.
They won't let me.
But they will let me give you a taste of what a typical Monday night looks like. To protect identities, I will refer to the players and guests with code names, the characters they play as (or if I don't know, one of the Mario Kart characters).
With no further ado, Mario Kart Monday:
Luigi: *easily beating everyone*
King Boo (hitting a banana peel): No! Nonononononono!
Tanooki Mario: Wow, I guess he didn't find that appeeling at all!
*Luigi and Tanooki Mario laugh like Statler and Waldorf*
King Boo: I hate all you hosers.
Shy Guy: *laughs, quietly playing*
Blue Link: Breath of the Wild Link is better!
Green Link: Green Link has always and will always be better!
*Daisy, Peach, and Yoshi look at YouTube videos on their phones and laugh*
King Boo, pulling ahead: Woohoo! Hehehehehe! (giggles like Daffy Duck)
Green Link, also pulling ahead: Ahaha! What was that about green Link?
Blue Link: I hope all your dinners burn!
Rosalina: Looks like Green Link Hy-rules!
*Groans from King Boo and a couple others, Statler and Waldorf laughter from Luigi and Tanooki Mario*
King Boo, making a hard turn and going a little too far: Oh, mother!
Tanooki Mario: You keep calling for your mother, but she has never actually comes to help you. Welp, it looks like I'm back in sixth again.
*Several watchers break into a side conversation about anime*
King Boo: *own bomb explodes upon being hit with a banana peel* NO! Who did that?
Luigi: *evil laughter*
King Boo: This game hates me. Why do we even play it?
Luigi: Now, now, no need to explode over it.
*Statler and Waldorf laughter*
*Blue Link and Green Link escalate argument*
Blue Link: I hope all your socks are just the slightest bit damp all the time. And cold.
Green Link: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
--- Final Stretch ---
Luigi: *focuses*
King Boo: Go! Gogogogogogo! *bouncing in his seat with the controller all the way out*
*Luigi wins, followed closely behind by King Boo*
King Boo: Cheater. Never trust a green man.
Green Link: What was that?
King Boo: Nothing. Nothing at all.
Luigi: *laughing*
The final results:
Luigi - 1st
King Boo - 2nd
Shy Guy - 3rd or 4th
Tanooki Mario - 6th again
Green Link - ahead of Blue Link
Blue Link - salty
Okay, so this scenario is obviously much more fun to watch, and I'm not really capturing the lovely chaos around the room. Like, last night I was showing a couple of watchers a video of piranha plants singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" while the players bantered and played and Shy Guy played a different video game on the couch, and a few conversations flew around the room...well, you get it. I also conflated a couple of games since we can only play with four at a time.
I also left myself out, though my comments are often "Die in a fire," and "I think my controller isn't working." Or, "Did I just beat Luigi/King Boo/Tanooki Mario? How did that happen?"
NOTE: this is partially a work of fiction and partially (mostly) nonfiction, comments taken from last night or past Mondays. The people depicted are very real and I did my best to capture the recurring trends for each of them. Obviously, these vary from game to game or night to night. If you recognize yourself and don't like how I portrayed you, please know it was not meant to be meanspirited. I love all you crazy hilarious people.
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