I Take Your Requests

A short one today, as school is coming back soon, and I have a lot on my plate.

In recent news, I finally, finally, saw the Star Wars prequels. I hadn't seen Episodes 2 and 3 yet, but now I have. Maybe it's because I saw Clone Wars first, but I really liked them! Get ready for some more Star Wars/Disney parodies in the near future. I'm working on 2 more.

But today, I took a request. A friend and reader asked for a mash-up of Phineas and Ferb and The Emperor's New Groove, so I did that one this week. So, Alana, this one is for you!

Phineas and Ferb – The Emperor’s New Groove

The royal advisor enjoys imperial power
‘Til Kuzco fires her on an ill whim.
So the latest problem for Yzma and Kronk
Is finding a good way to kill him.

Like maybe...

Waking some panthers
Or sending the guards
Or turning him into a llama.

Sending him tumbling down a waterfall (Bring it on!)
For a tremble of extra drama

Putting him in a box
Not as himself, of course,
But a harmless little flea fits (It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!)

And when that box arrives
Taking a hammer and—
Or just poisoning him with this! (Feel the power!)

As you can see
There's a whole lot of stuff to do
To make Kuzco take that fall (To the secret lab!)

So stick with us 'cause Yzma and Kronk
Are gonna do it all
So stick with us 'cause Yzma and Kronk are
Gonna do it all!
(Mom! Dad went off to help a talking llama!)
(Guitar downs)

Thank you for the request, Alana! This was a lot of fun to write, and I hope it's fun for you to read!

I know these parodies are silly, but they're a great writer's workout for me. I have to look at words and meaning and rhyme and meter and tone, and there's no foul for a failure. I have so many ideas for stories that I feel a little jammed, and writing these give me a chance to practice with language while I'm still planning a schedule and stories (but I have an idea I'm going to start writing once school starts up again! I'm outlining it now!)

So, if you have requests, send 'em my way. If not, get ready for a couple more Star Wars/Disney mash-ups. Have a great week!

Some News and More Nonsense

I'm sorry for the very late post. I'm still getting back into the swing of life, and while I promise that I will go back to posting every Monday, it may take me a few tries to get there.

This week, I have been busy. One of the things I was busy with was cultivating a starter to make sourdough, and then actually baking some. It went...mostly okay. The recipe I used didn't have a long enough baking time, and I probably should have proofed it more. But I live, and I learn, and at least the sourdough part of it turned out.

No pictures. Please allow my shame its privacy. But at least the scones and biscuits turned out. Next up, sourdough peanut butter cookies.

In other news, I'm part of #KidsNeedMentors again this year! I did it last year, and I absolutely loved it, so I'm thrilled to be mentoring three classes this coming year. #KidsNeedMentors is a great program where authors spend a whole school year mentoring kids. In the past, I've given writing lessons, sent some of my favorite books, and given kids feedback on their own writing projects. I really love working with kids as part of my writerly job description, so I hope I can be helpful to them and to their teachers over the next year.

I also have wedding pictures. Here are a couple of them:

It takes forever to upload these, so I think I'll stop here. But I do think these are some of the best pictures of me, my husband, and the family after the wedding (without getting into all the smaller group shots).


Last, you know my Star Wars/Tangled parody from last time? I got a request for another. (And, yes, I listen to your requests!) So, for all you Clone Wars and Rebels fans, here's another song, brought to you by our favorite sassy space pirate, Hondo Ohnaka!

Stealing All the Treasure

("Sailing for Adventure" - Muppet Treasure Island)

When the course is laid and the bounty’s paid
A pirate’s blood begins racing
With our missiles shot and their engines cold,
We're on the ship and off to seize the hold!
On the ship and off to seize the hold!

Hey, ho, we'll go
Anywhere the profit’s flowing
Robbing honorably!
Stealing all the treasure in the galaxy.

(spoken)
Come now, men! Do not interrupt Hondo while he is singing!

Living on the brink, we say what the clink,
Hondo laughs the perils he’s facing!

Every ship we board better pay our price
Or then they’ll find out that we don’t play nice!

Then they’ll find out that we don’t play nice!

Hey, ho, we'll go
Anywhere the profit’s flowing
Shoot them in the wing!
Stealing all the treasure in the big black space thing

I’m not afraid to threaten, extort, and loot
I’m a scoundrel, through and through.
If I had to choose between my partner and a cargo of meryx, I would rescue the jewels—
(spoken)
Just kidding. Haha
I’d never do that to you!

There are Jedi Knights with swords of light
That are worth a kingly ransom.
With a Sith Lord, too, we would do okay,
But I must warn you, they are no easy prey!
I must warn you, they are no easy prey!

Hey, ho, we'll go
Anywhere the profit’s flowing
What was yours is ours!
Stealing all the treasure all across the stars.

Galactic credits whisper,
They’re singing just for me,
They’re saying, “Hondo, be a friend,”
And, “Hondo, set us free!”

So, ready, men, your blasters,
It’s time to sack and thieve
And of course we’ll always win—
Don’t need that nysillin—
And if the take’s not worth the cost,
Well, we can always leave!

(spoken to self)
Incredible. I did not know I had such a great singing voice! ... I should go pro.

A pirate’s life is not set in stone:
Follow me, your captain, to the great unknown!

Hey, ho, we'll go
Anywhere the profit’s flowing—
Best friend Kenobi!

Stealing all the treasure—
It's so lucrative!
Stealing all the treasure—
So explorative!
Stealing all the treasure—
We're all fugitives!
In the galaxy!

I hope you enjoyed that! I had a good time writing it. These parodies are good little writer workouts for me, helping me practice wordplay and character voice, so if you do have a request, let me know, and if not, there will probably be more, anyway.