Friday, October 23, 2020

THE EXPLORER'S CODE Virtual Events, or, What I'm Up To

This is a busy time for me.

Not only do I have a young baby now (who is getting so big and is always so adorable!) but I also released a book recently. That means launches and signings.

And, during this time of COVID, those events are virtual.

So, here's a list of everything that I'm doing during the next month or so.

1. SCBWI BookStop - Oct. 6-Nov. 30

The Society of Children's Books Writers and Illustrators has a yearly event online where authors of books that have come out recently can make pages to promote their books. It's called "BookStop" and it runs from October 6 through November 30.

It's a great way to browse new books for children before the holidays, especially if you're a teacher or librarian.

Anyway, I made a page. You can check out the page for The Explorer's Code here, and I highly recommend looking at the other pages as well. Like I said, it's a great way to browse new books.

2. Virtual Signing at The Book Garden - Oct. 28

Next week, October 28 at 7 pm Mountain time, I will be joining The Book Garden in Bountiful, UT, for a virtual signing for The Explorer's Code. 

 

This works in the following way: customers buy a copy of The Explorer's Code from The Book Garden's website and, when they do, they'll get a link to a Zoom meeting with me. I'll begin the meeting by talking about the book, but after that part, customers will get one-on-one time with me to talk, ask questions, and tell me how to inscribe their copy.

More information on the event can be found at The Book Garden's Facebook page.

3. Virtual Launch Event with The King's English Bookshop - Oct. 30

This next event is also coming up soon. It's next week, October 30 at 6 pm Mountain Time. This one is a virtual launch with The King's English Bookshop.


This event is free to attend, aka, book purchases are not required. However, they are encouraged! I will speak about the book and do a reading from it, followed by a Q&A. After the event, customers who purchased a copy of The Explorer's Code from The King's English will get an autographed copy sent to them.

You can find out more from The King's English's website, their Facebook page, and from Crowdcast.

4. Online Author Extravaganza at The King's English - Nov. 14

This is another event with the King's English, but I'm not alone in it! This event is an all-day virtual conference where many different writers will discuss topics on panels, and where there will be giveaways and other activities.


Find out more at the event page. The Extravaganza will have some amazing authors, and I'll also be there, on a panel from 10-11 am Mountain Time about getting inspiration during COVID.

5. Virtual Event with the Provo Library - Nov. 19

Right before Thanksgiving, I'm doing a virtual event with the Provo City Library. It will be November 19 at 7 pm Mountain Time, and held through Zoom.

Like many of these events, this one will feature me speaking about and reading from The Explorer's Code and a Q&A. Books will be available to purchase. I'll tell you more as we get closer, but you'll be able to find details about my event as well as other author events at the Provo Library AuthorLink page.


Like I said, I'm going to be busy, but with all good things! I'm glad I'm able to do these events, and the nice things about virtual events are that 1) I can easily do them with a little baby and 2) anyone can attend! So I hope to see you at at least one of these!

It's going to be fun!

Friday, October 16, 2020

Life as an Uaffiliated Voter

 I have been an unaffiliated voter since 2016.

 

Before that, I was listed Republican. I'd been raised Republican, and while I lean left on the importance of issues (we need to protect the helpless, make health/education affordable for all, etc) I tend to lean right on implementing these plans (we need to avoid overspending and local governments are better suited than the federal at addressing needs).

But 2016 came along and my party seemed to take leave of its senses. They elected a crude, rude, racist, misogynistic con man with no political experience and since my religion tells me to seek out that which is "virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy" (Article of Faith #13) and also that "when the wicked rule the people mourn" so "honest men and wise men should be sought for diligently, and good men and wise men ye should observe to uphold; otherwise whatsoever is less than these cometh of evil" (Doctrine and Covenants 98:9-10).

Therefore, seeing the man the Republican Party chose, who harassed women and insulted the disabled, who flaunted bad behavior, I felt I could no longer be part of a party who would willing choose such a person as their leader. If I did, I would not be keeping the counsel given in the verses I just shared.

Now, four years later, having seen this individual commit tax fraud, lie repeatedly to the public, condone through his administration cruelty to immigrants and the children of immigrants, fumble a pandemic response in order to make himself look better, and refuse to commit to peacefully leaving office if defeated in the election (undermining our democracy), as well as more racism, misogyny, and cruel behavior, I cannot find it in myself to return to the Republican Party. Once again, I see little in its chosen leader that is "virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy" and I do not believe this leader is "honest," "wise," or "good." I see a selfish, crude, and corrupt man who will gaslight and "poison the well" to make people believe his easily-proven lies.

While he has done some good for religious freedom, I fully believe that should religious freedom become problematic to him, religion would find in him a new enemy.

I cannot vote for him, and I cannot list my name under an organization that falls in line behind him. I would feel like I was condoning behavior that the Lord himself told me to avoid, and to avoid in leaders I choose.

That said, I don't fully agree with the Democratic Party's platform, so I have not switched sides. I have not registered with them, either.

That means that like Everett McGill of O Brother Where Art Thou?, I remain unaffiliated.

 


There is a downside to being unaffiliated. I'm a swing voter so I get twice as many texts, emails, and pieces of actual paper mail trying to get me to vote for whatever candidate is being offered. It's pretty annoying to wake up at 6 in the morning to three texts and a voice mail telling me that America needs me to vote for X, Y, and Z. I also can only vote in the Democratic primary because the Republican primary is only open to registered Republicans (despite the fact that, as I said, I tend to be more conservative in how policy should be implemented and often prefer good, honest conservative candidates).

But there's an upside that's even better, and why I think I will remain unaffiliated or Independent.

A political party does not make up part of my identity.

I am not a label anymore. I cannot say, "I'm Republican," or "I'm a Democrat," because that's not true. I am an American, nothing more.

This has been very freeing. Because I'm unaffiliated, as I wade through pleas to vote for one candidate or the next, I'm free to choose whichever candidate I truly think is the best for the country. I don't have to consider what my party would choose, because I have none. And I would be no traitor to party if I crossed lines, because there are no lines to cross.

I think this is how democracy was supposed to be, before the two-party system, before parties vilified each other so much that voting with your party became a mark of morality. Why George Washington warned against a two-party system. When we have only a dichotomy to choose between, and one choice is part of our identity, what choice is there, really? It is more an illusion of choice than a real one.

By becoming unaffiliated, even in a two-party system, I have doubled my choices.

I am an unaffiliated voter.

And life is good.

Tuesday, September 29, 2020

THE EXPLORER'S CODE is On Shelves Now!

 The wait is over! The Explorer's Code is out now!

Here's the summary:

Three kids have everything they need to solve the decades-old mystery of Idlewood Manor, in this middle grade novel full of real ciphers, puzzles, riddles, and codes that Kirkus Reviews calls "a worthy call to unravel a mystery.”

Idlewood Manor has been uninhabited for decades, until now . . .

Math whiz Charlie won admission in a puzzle contest―and he’s intrigued by the strange numbers he finds on Idlewood’s walls. His restless sister Anna had to be dragged to the house―but then she discovers its hidden floor. Emily’s parents brought her to the mansion on a secret mission―and she’s determined to prove herself to them.

All three kids soon unlock clues to Idlewood’s mysterious past and the famous female explorer who’s connected to it―and the secret treasure she left behind. But the adults around them are also hunting for the treasure. Charlie, Anna, and Emily will have to overcome their differences and work as a team to solve Idlewood’s puzzles before it’s too late, in Allison K. Hymas's The Explorer's Code.

 

This book is a Junior Library Guild Gold Standard Selection and was inspired by The Westing Game and Agatha Christie novels. You can purchase it at the following links:

The King's English (a wonderful indie bookstore)

Barnes & Noble

Amazon

 

Thank you for reading this blog and for watching with me as this book got closer to publication date. Now it's finally here!

I have also released my last cipher video on YouTube. Here it is below, and here's the link if you need it. Go to YouTube to find an Explorer's Code Easter egg in the video description (if you can decode it!).

 


See you later for more writing-related discussions/rants!

Wednesday, September 23, 2020

Is Alexander Hamilton a Mary Sue?

This summer, Disney+ released the filmed stage production of Hamilton and I, like everyone else, watched it. I enjoyed seeing the show for the first time, after only hearing the music. It was interesting to see the characters acting out their parts, and it was also interesting to see creative writing tropes at work, like character foils and a clear theme of legacy.

However, there was one trope that stood out to me as something worth debating, and it led me to this question:

Is Alexander Hamilton a Mary Sue?

Of course not! Blasphemy! Slander! A Mary Sue is a trope indicative of bad writing, and Hamilton is certainly not that!

 Oh, I agree. The musical is very well-written. But when looking at its very smart, capable, well-connected main character that every other character seems to obsess over both positively and negatively, I kept wondering if the main character were named Alexandra Hamilton, if we'd already see tons of tweets, blog posts, and YouTube videos calling her a Mary Sue.

So what is a Mary Sue? A Mary Sue is a character, often appearing in fan fiction, that is an author's idealized self-insert character. This character is the best at everything. They are smarter, stronger, more talented, etc. than everyone else. If they appear in fan fiction, they outshine the actual heroes and characters of the story they're inserted into. Everyone in the story is obsessed with this character: the heroes adore her and the villains either want her dead or want to own her themselves. The Mary Sue is perfect. She can do no wrong, and anyone who opposes her is evil or extremely foolish.

(I say "her," as the trope began with a female character, but a Mary Sue can be a him, as well.)

I really like this video's definition of a Mary Sue. By this definition, a Mary Sue is a character that warps the story around them.

Why do I like this definition? Because it allows for characters who are popular with other characters as well as characters who are overpowered. A Mary Sue is always overpowered, but an overpowered character is not always a Mary Sue.

For the purpose of this post, I'm going to treat the play Hamilton as a work of creative writing, not a straight biography of a historical figure. Why? Because it's not a biography, and it uses those writing tropes I mentioned earlier. The Mary Sue is just one more trope to explore.

And explore I shall.

How does this apply to Hamilton? Let's break it down. Most people can agree that a Mary Sue is a character that is:

1. Overpowered in some way

2. A character that warps the plot and story around him/her

3. Too perfect to be real

4. Obsessed over by the other characters, again, unrealistically

5. (Optional) A self-insert character in fan fiction

As I watched Hamilton, I started to see some of these traits appear, or at least it seemed that way. Let's go through this list. Is Hamilton a Mary Sue? I will make the case for yea, and for nay.

1. Overpowered in some way

YEA

Alexander Hamilton is a Mary Sue. He's depicted as extremely smart ("top-notch brain" - "Helpless") and is vital, in story, to winning the Battle of Yorktown ("No one has more resilience or matches my practical tactical brilliance" - "Guns and Ships").

Hamilton is also lauded for writing 51 of the Federalist Papers, which sounds so very Mary Sue. Going so much farther than his co-writers? Well, of course he would! He's so freaking talented, why wouldn't he greatly outshine everyone?

Is there nothing he can't do? We are told also that Hamilton has "a marksman's ability" ("The World Was Wide Enough") in aiming and firing a gun. He also is "reliable with the ladies" ("A Winter's Ball") to the tune of two sisters falling in love with him on sight during the same night. We can imagine that mean's he's attractive.

So, mental, physical, and romantic prowess above and beyond that of the other characters. Need I say more?

NAY

Hamilton is not overpowered. While exceptional, he remains realistic in his abilities. The Revolutionary War brought out amazing talented people, and Hamilton is no exception. Were he truly overpowered, he'd be the one leading the army, the one becoming president, and he'd have far more admirers. We also see parts of this play where he fails: he fails to protect his reputation, his marriage, and his son. He was not smart enough to find a better way out of his problem.

Talented, yes. Powerful in the context of the story, sure. But not overly so. Besides, a powerful character is not necessarily a Mary Sue. Sherlock Holmes is brilliant but no Sue.

2. A character that warps the the plot/story around him/her

NAY

Not everything in this play is about Hamilton. The Revolutionary War does not revolve around him (see what I did there?), and King George III doesn't act and react based on Hamilton. Sure, he's the main character, and therefore would be in a position central to the story. But a Mary Sue warps a story. A Mary Sue makes everything about them: every action, reaction, and character is pulled out of proportion by the Sue. They then do things that are not in character just to accommodate the Sue.

Do we see this in Hamilton? No, we don't. Characters remain in character throughout. Therefore, not a Sue.

YEA

Sure, a lot of the play is about the war. But from whose perspective? And who takes center stage, literally, in this production? And is it realistic to do so?

From the first song of the play, this one seems to also apply to Alexander Hamilton. The very first song is about Hamilton, which works well as an introduction to the character, but it also establishes something very interesting about this play: Hamilton is at the center. Every character is introduced by how they relate to Hamilton, not who they are on their own. Lafayette, Mulligan, and Laurens are his friends. The women love him. Burr is the one who shot him. You see?

And do the other characters act in character? Is it realistic for multiple women to fall for Hamilton on sight? Does that happen in real life? And what about Washington taking Hamilton's side in a cabinet debate apparently simply because he prefers Hamilton in general? Is that realistic, too? Perhaps the characters remain in character, but that character is already established to be such that glorifies Hamilton and everything he does. Even antagonists just exist to show how awesome Hamilton is.

And is that realistic? I say no. He's a Mary Sue.

3. Too perfect to be real

NAY

Hamilton comes across as rather perfect, right? Oh, except there's that one little thing:

The Reynolds Pamphlet.

Oh no, I didn't forget about that. I couldn't. Not when "Burn" is such a beautiful song.

This part of the play is what complicates Hamilton as a Mary Sue. A Mary Sue is perfect. He would never do anything as stupid as cheat on his wife. Therefore, Hamilton cannot be a textbook Mary Sue. Along with that, we are assured Hamilton is "abrasive" and "talks too much" ("Nonstop").

Even worse, Hamilton cheats on his wife and then publishes a pamphlet clearing his name of misusing funds by confessing to the affair. In the play, we are NOT supposed to sympathize with this. We're NOT supposed to think it's fine or good, just because Hamilton did it. We also see negative outcomes of this choice. This is not in keeping with the Mary Sue persona.

The obvious proof of Hamilton not being a Sue is that he's a likable character. Sues are so perfect they're boring. Hamilton is certainly not that.

YEA

Sure, Hamilton has flaws. He's abrasive and verbose. But those are like a character being described as "clumsy." Not real flaws, since we never really see them negatively impact Hamilton's character or story. 

So let's focus on that Reynolds Pamphlet incident, because that's the most powerful case against "Mary Sue-hood."

Even this is complicated. While we're not supposed to agree with this choice, Hamilton is forgiven of it, eventually. We also see that Hamilton himself is the author of this mistake: he commits it, and he's the one who reveals it and causes his own downfall.

So while I'll concede this point as showing that Hamilton isn't "too perfect," it only strengthens the argument for "overpowered": the only person capable of harming or defeating Hamilton is Hamilton. Even at the end, in his duel, we're told Hamilton has "a marksman's ability" while Burr is "a terrible shot" ("The World Was Wide Enough"), implying that Burr won through luck and because Hamilton pointed his gun at the sky.

A bit of a throwback, but characteristics of a Sue interweave with each other: a perfect character is perfect at everything, even ruining their own lives, right?

4. The center of everyone's thoughts and actions

YEA

This is best evidence for "Mary Sue-hood" we have for Alexander Hamilton. Every character in this play revolves around Hamilton. Every woman in the play loves him: Eliza marries him, but Angelica sings a great song about how much she loves him and wishes she could be with him, after falling in love with him in only minutes. Maria Reynolds seduces him.


Moving on, the play has Lafayette, Mulligan, and Laurens befriend and admire Hamilton from the moment they meet him, and Washington specifically calls for him to be his "right-hand man."

Jefferson and Madison seem to be constantly thinking about how to defeat Hamilton, making moves based on what he's doing and how to counter him or use him to their advantage. But the most clear image of how Hamilton is the center of the universe for this play is how Burr interacts with him. Burr sings a song about his own life and philosophy ("Wait For It") and it ends about Hamilton, not about Burr. Burr's rising ambition was inspired by Hamilton, and at the end, Burr's life is defined by his obsession with Hamilton ("It's him or me, the world will never be the same!", "Now I'm the villain in your history" - "The World Was Wide Enough").

 

Every character makes decisions revolving around Hamilton. He amazes and impresses other heroes, and even the antagonists are obsessed with him. It's interesting to see King George III even read the Reynolds Pamphlet, like even across the sea, the other characters are fascinated with what Hamilton is doing.

NAY

Okay, that is a good point. But Hamilton is the main character; the play is about him! Is Luke Skywalker a Mary Sue just because Obi-Wan and Yoda train him, and Vader wants him to join the Dark Side? No! A main character is central to the plot. That's why they're the main character.

And in this play, King George doesn't actually care about Hamilton. And while Maria Reynolds seduces him, we have no real proof she loves him like Eliza and Angelica are shown to. There is nuance here; the characters don't all fall at Hamilton's feet. The characters that are bound up with him are also not flat; Jefferson and Madison work with him at times. 

5: A self-insert character in fan fiction

NAY 

Hamilton is a historical figure, and not a character dreamed up by his author. Therefore he can't be a self-insert character by definition.

YEA

True. But I'd like to present for your consideration:

- Hamilton is arguably fan fiction of American history

and 

- Lin-Manuel Miranda, the writer of the the play, also played Alexander Hamilton on stage.

Not really an indication of self-insert, but makes you think, doesn't it? 

END DEBATE

So, what's the verdict?

Not saying. Make your own call.

But what's the point?

Like I said, I think if Hamilton was female, there'd be a lot of screaming that "she's a Mary Sue." A female character that is smart, a good fighter, and loved by all the men? One that every character is constantly thinking about? MARY SUE IT IS!

That assessment would ignore the other points: that she's likable and in fact fallible. Sues aren't like that.

When you call a character a Mary Sue, why do you form that conclusion? Is the character a Sue or just talented? Does the character warp the plot or are they simply active in it? Do other characters obsess over them or are they just important to story and character development?

And here's a question worth considering: if the "yea" argument convinced you, and you think Hamilton is a Mary Sue but still consider the play good writing, might it be time to examine this trope? A trope can be used poorly or it can be used well. Can the Mary Sue be used well? Is this proof that it can?

I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Last, my book THE EXPLORER'S CODE hits stores next Tuesday. You can preorder it now. 

I also have a new video out. Here it is!



Friday, September 11, 2020

I'm Back, and I Have Videos

It's been two months since my last post, but I swear, I have a good reason for dropping away for so long:


 Her name is Hazel, and she was born at the beginning of August. We love her very much!

But I'm recovered and settling into a new routine, so I can post again (she's napping). I'm here to do three things:

1. Show you pictures of my sweet baby girl (mission accomplished).

2. Tell you about the YouTube videos I've made.

So, I'm about 4 weeks into a 7-week YouTube video "season" about codes and ciphers. You know, if you read this blog, that I love puzzles and mysteries. Since my next book deals heavily with codes and ciphers, I wanted to make some videos explaining, briefly, how some common ciphers work and how they've been used in the past. Here's my first video:

I made them partially as an education tool---if you have or know kids who are kept at home from school due to COVID and you're looking for a way to teach math/logic/critical thinking, codes and ciphers can be good tools.

But they're also advertising and preparing for my new book, THE EXPLORER'S CODE, which comes out September 29.


Which is #3 in the list of things I need to do right now.

3. Tell you about this book coming out.

Yeah, so THE EXPLORER'S CODE is released on September 29. Here's the summary:

Three kids have everything they need to solve the decades-old mystery of Idlewood Manor, in this middle grade novel full of real ciphers, puzzles, riddles, and codes that Kirkus Reviews calls "a worthy call to unravel a mystery.”

Idlewood Manor has been uninhabited for decades, until now . . .

Math whiz Charlie won admission in a puzzle contest―and he’s intrigued by the strange numbers he finds on Idlewood’s walls. His restless sister Anna had to be dragged to the house―but then she discovers its hidden floor. Emily’s parents brought her to the mansion on a secret mission―and she’s determined to prove herself to them.

All three kids soon unlock clues to Idlewood’s mysterious past and the famous female explorer who’s connected to it―and the secret treasure she left behind. But the adults around them are also hunting for the treasure. Charlie, Anna, and Emily will have to overcome their differences and work as a team to solve Idlewood’s puzzles before it’s too late, in Allison K. Hymas's The Explorer's Code.

You can preorder the book from Amazon or other vendors like Barnes and Noble or my favorite local bookstore, The King's English.

That's it from me today. I'll be back as soon as I can (I have a new baby, after all!), with more posts. Trust me, I have lots of ideas of things to talk about. And, I'll definitely post when I have news about a launch for THE EXPLORER'S CODE!


Friday, July 3, 2020

May the Fourth (of July) be With You

It's July 3rd, and Disney+ has rolled out Hamilton, filmed and ready to be watched.

A grand way to celebrate the Fourth of July, especially if you're still social distancing, as we are. It reminded me of how Disney+ celebrated May the Fourth by giving us both the end of the Clone Wars TV show and The Rise of Skywalker.

So I made you a little something.

You know how I enjoy writing song parodies (if that's the right term for them) and how I wrote a bunch of Disney/Star Wars ones last year. Well, here's another one. Only it's not Disney. It's Hamilton.

So, in honor of the Fourth of July, please enjoy my Emperor Palpatine rendition of "You'll Be Back." (The original song is in the below video.)





“I Came Back” – Parody of “You’ll Be Back” from Hamilton

  
You say
The part of the Sith’s not a part that you’re willing to play.
You cry
By the sea while you whine about me to your eerie Jedi
Why so sad?
I’d rather I’d made an arrangement with you, little Rey
Kylo’s making me mad
Remember, despite our estrangement, I’m Granddad!

I came back, soon you'll see
That the galaxy belongs to me.
I came back, though I fell,
Try recovering from this plot bombshell.
Rebellions rise, Death Stars fall—
I’ve survived far longer than Darth Maul!
And when push comes to shove
I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love!

  
Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat dat da ya da!
Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat dat da

You say your life force’s is draining and you can't go on
You're hearing voices of Luke and Obi-Wan
And yes, your cause will founder,
'Cause I’m the Empire’s founder.
Its shrewd, sadistic founder
Ambitious, vicious founder
Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever

I came back like before
Built an army to restart the war
Here I wait on Exegol
‘Til you kill me and absorb my soul!
When I’m gone, fans get mad
So don't throw away this thing we had
'Cause when push comes to shove
I will destroy entire planets to remind you of my love!



Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat dat da ya da!
Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat—

Everybody!

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat dat da ya da!
Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da da da da
Dat dat da ya da!
 

Friday, June 12, 2020

What to Watch Instead of Artemis Fowl

Before we get started:

I'm doing a summer reading giveaway! I'm giving away copies of Under Locker and Key and Arts and Thefts on Twitter and Instagram.



Contest runs from now through the end of June. To enter, find me and my posts on Twitter (handle is @akbookworm) and/or Instagram (@allisonhymas) and follow the instructions on the post.

And now, let's get to the meat of this post.

Welp, folks, it's out.

The Disney Artemis Fowl movie.



If you've been reading this blog, you saw my reaction to that abysmal trailer we got. If not, here's the link to that post. Enjoy.

Since then, I've been keeping an eye on the project. The author of the books, Eoin Colfer, released a quote about his optimism for the movie, as did Kenneth Branagh. So I thought, hey, maybe the trailer wasn't indicative of movie quality. Maybe the movie actually feels like the book, even if they changed a lot of details.

Well, the results are in.



Folks, I believe that's what we call "the big OOF."

You should see the reviews. They're comparing it to M. Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender.

I can't say I'm surprised. When you strip a book of everything that made it special to its fans, everything that got it those fans in the first place, you remove its appeal. I hope this is a lesson to Disney and any other filmmakers that books become popular for reasons, and that it's extremely important to understand those reasons.

It was never about the magic, Disney. It was about the heist and the morally gray protagonist, and for me, at least, it was also about the sarcasm.

Anyway, I know you all might get on Disney+ today and see the Artemis Fowl banner right up there at the top, recommended for you as a new arrival on the streaming service. I'm here today to first off, tell you don't do it! You might be curious, you might want to see if that 12% is merited, but life is too short to watch bad movies and it's WAY to short to tell the filmmakers that you want more bad movies.

Which is why I have compiled a list of things to watch instead of Artemis Fowl, all available now on Disney+. Resist the temptation and take a right turn into one of these, instead.

First, my biggest suggestion is just to read the book series instead. It's cleverly written and imaginative, and truly a special series. As the cover says, it's "criminally good."


But if you want a movie or show right now (or all the books are checked out, as is the case with my library), keep reading.

ONWARD


This Pixar movie is another 2020 release that sadly got released at the same time that COVID-19 shut down the theaters, so it didn't get the press it deserved. This film is a great romp for fantasy lovers, with plenty of fairies, elves, and magic, with the modern flair that adds unique charm. I would also highly recommend this film to D&D players, for reasons that will become very clear as you watch.

Beyond that, it's simply a good movie. The story of two brothers going on a quest to see their father and, along the way, growing in their own relationship, is charming and heartwarming. Also, this movie has a "Pixar ending" where it doesn't end exactly as you'd think, but it works very well and I think is stronger than the expected ending.

So, yeah. Watch this instead.

ZOOTOPIA


Odds are you've already seen this one. But, it makes my list because a major part of Holly Short's character arc in Artemis Fowl (the book) is that she's the first female captain in the Lower Elements Police. Therefore, Zootopia is a stronger match for that character arc than the actual Artemis Fowl movie they just released.

This film has that character arc and the nuances that go with it, and also throws in a morally gray character in Nick, who becomes more likeable as we go. It also has the nice cat-and-mouse mystery and chase that we get from the book Artemis Fowl.

THE PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN


The first one, of course.

Not that I mind the others, but this one is the first and best, and it's so much summer fun. This one makes my list because it's fun with thieves and liars, which, again, is some of the draw of Artemis Fowl (okay, from here on out, if it's complimentary, it's about the book). There's also all that gold, which also connects to the book, as gold is what Artemis is after the whole time.

HOLES


This is here just to remind you that not every book-made-into-a-movie is horrible. Which may have something to do with the fact that the author of the book actually worked on the movie. That's all.

DOCTOR STRANGE


This film is a mix of magic and technology, with a protagonist that is unlikable at first but grows and develops. It resonates, I think, with some of the appeal of Artemis Fowl without the terrible movie reviews. It's lower on this list, because I don't think it's the best match, but it's a better movie and if you're craving a new take on magic, give it a shot.

COCO


This movie is awesome. That's all. If you haven't watched this movie yet, I seriously suggest doing so as soon as possible.

Oh, yeah, and it has family dynamics and a magical other world, so you can get that through this instead of the movie Artemis Fowl.

Now for some TV shows:

KIM POSSIBLE


This is VERY important: make sure you watch the TV show, NOT the movie.

Great show, and I think my personal successor to reading books like Artemis Fowl. I started reading the Artemis Fowl series, and that led to Kim Possible, which led to shows like Leverage and books by Terry Pratchett.

This show, I think, is the closest match you're going to find to the book series with the high-tech adventures, the saving the world, and most importantly, the witty dialogue.

Oh, yes, the sarcasm. Love me that sarcasm.

Great writing and characterization, and wonderful villains make this one of the best shows (in my humble opinion) that Disney has rolled out. A much better use of your afternoon than that movie we're talking about.

PHINEAS AND FERB



Another kid's movie, and another golden show that entertains adults as well. If you're looking for likable villains, this one has one of the best, most likable villains Disney has EVER rolled out (you can fight me), and some great save-the-world action.

Also, this should appeal to you if you like the idea of genius children. I think Phineas and Ferb definitely qualify. And, again, the writing is clever. It shines in every possible way.

TANGLED



The movie, sure, but also the series. Excellent characterization and storytelling. It's not a perfect match to Artemis Fowl, but it is a wonderful story with excellent fantasy elements, good writing, and strong characters both male and female.

Also, you have Flynn Rider/Eugene Fitzherbert with his snark. And I love that.

For more reasons why you should watch this show, here's a link to a post I did.

STAR WARS CLONE WARS/STAR WARS REBELS



Two for the price of one! I put these together because they go together. Clone Wars just finished and is an amazing action story about warfare, with space magic (the Force) and science fiction tech. Also, Ahsoka will appeal to those who'd like Holly Short's character, and there's plenty of cat-and-mouse to go around. Also, a good show and worth a watch.

Rebels is actually my favorite of the two shows, but that's only because I resonated with the characters in this one a little more, and I enjoyed watching a clever, ragtag band of heroes outwitting people that have far more power than they do. Which is an appeal of Artemis Fowl. Clever writing here as well, and there is, of course your space magic in SPADES and science fiction technology.

That's it! Happy watching (since you're not watching a bad movie), and I'll see you again soon. I have lots of ideas for blog posts, so you'll be hearing from me again really soon.

And don't forget to check out my giveaway!