I also saw Shazam! this week and I'm wondering why no one told me that it took place in Philadelphia. That's my home town (kind of; we're in the suburbs)! I'm so excited to have a superhero in Philly, so that was cool. It was a fun movie, and I really enjoyed it.
Due to these fun movies I watch too close to bedtime, and a host of other issues, including the wedding preparations and irregular sleeping schedules, I'm dealing with some bad insomnia lately. I have a problem with insomnia and when I'm stressed (doesn't matter if the stress is negative or positive), I don't sleep well. It ranges from falling asleep right away, to lying awake for an hour or two, to being awake until 3-4 in the morning with a necessary wake up time of 5:45 am.
It's awful and I don't always know what the reason for the sleeplessness is or if the night is going to be a hard one. Here's what a typical really bad night looks like:
- I get into bed, feeling tired.
- I start to drift off.
- Something wakes me, a sound or hunger pang or cold feet or just my stupid brain deciding to rouse itself.
- I try to ignore the problem or deal with it quickly and go back to sleep.
- NOPE! Totally awake now.
- Become very aware of sounds. I can hear everything.
- Become very aware of sensations. I can feel everything.
- Get annoyed that I can't sleep. Annoyance sticks around.
- Tell myself to relax. It doesn't work. Get more stressed.
- Try to distract my mind. Doesn't work. Get more stressed.
- Pray.
- Try to relax. Begin breathing and yoga techniques. Doesn't work. Get more stressed.
- Try hard not to check the clock. Check it anyway. Get more stressed.
- Give up. Decide no sleep is happening tonight.
- Finally sleep. For 2-3 hours.
Clearly, it's a stress issue. Sometimes I have some physical problems that need addressing, like hunger or being riled up (see note about Endgame) and I have to cool down before bed to relax. But most of the time I wake up waaaay too early and my mind decides we need to get up now. Which is not a good idea at 11 pm and so I start to stress.
I know it's not rational, but once I'm in that state my thoughts and feelings are completely separate. I can think myself relaxed, and believe it, but still feel annoyed and stressed until I just give up. Lately I've been getting a little better, but I'm still struggling. I'm hoping that once the stress lessens the sleep will come. And, I'm trying to trust in God and my body, that I'll get enough sleep. Not lots, but enough.
Anyway, I'm taking it into my hands a little more, as well. This is what I do now:
- Cool-down period before bed where I slow my breathing with meditation, yoga, or calming activities like reading.
- Some sleeping pills for the bad nights (I dislike using them because they leave me groggy the next day, so fortunately I don't need them more than once or twice a week).
- Never go to bed hungry, and wear socks in case of cold nights.
- Earplugs and eyemask.
- Calming music.
- When it gets hard, getting out of bed and sleeping on the floor, or putting my pillow at the foot of the bed to reverse position - trick myself into thinking sleeping circumstances are different and this is not the bed that causes so many problems.
- Get out of bed and read a little.
- "Reset." Get out of bed, walk to the bathroom, kitchen, etc., like I'm about to go to bed the first time, again.
- No naps during the day unless they cannot be avoided due to excessive exhaustion.
- No sugar or salt too close to bed.
- No caffeinated beverages. Ever.
- No stimulating discussions too close to bedtime.
I don't do all these things every night, but I do what I can when I think it's appropriate for the circumstances. If it's a physical thing keeping me up, I deal with it, or if it's me too energized for sleep, that may be the time for the sleeping aids, like pills. If it's loud, the earplugs. When I'm tired but starting to stress, I'll change position and that tends to work.
Sleep is important to me, because I know I'm a better person and can do more, think more clearly, when I'm rested. I also run better and feel healthier. Still, I know fixating on it too much can cause more stress, so I'm trying to find a good plan that works for me. If you have any advice on how to eliminate the stress and be more patient, I'm all ears.
We'll be back next week with the Endgame review, and I hope to soon have another installment of Mario Kart Monday shenanigans to tell you about.
