Monday, March 18, 2013

I Really Wish You Didn't Say That

Ever been reading a book or watching a movie when one of the characters says something and you just think, "Oh, nothing good can come of this"? Well, today, I am crafting a list of all those "famous almost-last words" for your reading pleasure. There's nothing better for creating dramatic irony than using one of these phrases or a differently-worded version of one. Well, nothing easier. Let's get started.

Horror
"Hello? Is anyone there?" (Yes, the guy with the chain saw is right there.)
"Let's split up." (the better to pick you off, my dears)
"Where's [enter name here]?" (Dead.)
"Don't worry. We're safe here." (No, you're not.)
"They say this camp/hotel/carnival is haunted." (It is, and a few more ghosts will call it home before this movie ends.)
"Did you hear about the escaped murderer?" (Speak of the devil, and the devil will come.)
"We can't call the police." (Why not? WHY THE HECK NOT?!)

Romantic Comedy
"It's okay. I understand." (No, you don't.)
"What do we have to talk about?" (Everything, apparently.)
"You're a great guy/girl...." (But....)
"You're making a mistake, and I'll prove it." (Misguided romantic gesture coming in 3, 2, 1.)

Science Fiction
"We're having some trouble in the lab." (Is it big and snarly, with sharp teeth? Or are we talking the next pandemic?)
"We've thought through all the variables. Nothing will surprise us now." (Wanna bet?)
"That's impossible." (Think again.)
"This discovery will lead the human race into a utopian future." (Again, wanna bet?)
"Written and Produced by Joss Whedon" (Now I don't dare get too fond of any character.)

General
"You can trust me." (No, you can't.)
"I'm sorry. I had no choice." (Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!)
Whenever someone starts talking tenderly about family and life goals (Oh, dang; I was starting to like that guy. To bad he's a dead man walking.)

And the king of them all...

"Look on the bright side. At least things can't get any worse."

This is not a comprehensive list at all, so feel free to leave more in the comments. I'm sure there are many other seal-your-fate phrases in literature or film, and I'd love to archive them.

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